White Trash Bash. . .

We had our first ever White Trash Party this past weekend and had way too much fun.  Apparently we have started a new party deemed the White Trash Bash and some people are already getting ideas for the 2009 shindig.  Since July 4th, Dustin and I were torn between a Hawaiian themed party and a white trash party.  I assumed our friends were too classy for a white trash party, but ohhh how I was wrong.

I’ll warn you, there was a lot of cleavage and skin showing, mostly from Wade, but the only one to have a true wardrobe malfunction and not know it was the hostess of the party.  During the “Parade of the White Trash,” Erin and I had a run off for White Trash Woman and we loaded up our kids on each hip and walked in the middle of the circle.  I should have known when I looked over at Amber and she was waving her arms and grabbing her own shirt and pulling up the top that she’s was hinting at something, that and everyone screaming and hearing a few “wardrobe malfunctions!!”  Even with Ellie accidentally exposing my entire tourquoise bra, I still got second.  Oh well, there’s always next year. . .you’re going down Erin!!!

The Video/Audio Department hard at work checking the equipment the night before the party.

Dustin pointed out that his tongue was actually further away than what it appears.  Leave it up to the drunk guys to work with the $600 equipment.

A deeper look in to the fine art of making Jello Shots. . .151 Jello Shots to be exact.

This is Wade.  I’ll just stop there.

Our buffet tables of mismatched table clothes and every food you could imagine.  Decorations include a beer tower, Oklahoma Snake Gun and Big Mouth Billy.

Josh aka Howdy Ma’am and yes his shirt is for sale, but sadly was not sold during the party.

A mixture of the White Trash Kiddos and Wal-Mart Babies.

Ady on the left managed to get dirt on her face before the party started.  Her Mama was so proud.

My baby daddy manin’ the grill and fried pickles.

Lee and his bubble wrap beer koozi.  I was more impressed that Lee didn’t have his shirt tucked in, now that’s white trash for Lee.

I finally had to tell people to quit giving the tattooed baby cookies when she went up to them and said, “cooookie, peas.”  (cookie, please)

Yep, ain’t she a cutie.

McCade showing off his tattooed guns along with I think seven different stains t-shirt.  Now that took some time and effort.

Denise was able to become her own table resting her food on her “baby belly.”

What’s a whie trash party without a baby holding a beer?!?  Charlie doing a little product placement for Keystone.

Ironically enough, Wendy didn’t put the noodle on her boob, it fell off of her fork.  Still, a great picture!

I’m sure Amber’s family is so proud.  She’s due in a week and a half.

Katie and. . .uhh Doug.

Jorge aka George aka Jeremy using his being his own personal napkin.

Dustin said as the host and hostess of the party, we had to go all out.  I have a half head of curlers and Dustin is sporting the ever so popular mohawk.  He almost forgot he had a mohawk and left the house to go to Thriftway.

This was what everyone saw when they pulled up to the house.

The White Trash Party in full swing.

Me and Dustin and Doug in the background throwin’ the rock on.

The beer cooler.  I had to decorate it for the party of course.

I don’t know how many people had to stop and think about how to say this.

A cute one of Tana.

 Just a few of the “studly” men at the party.

Lindsey the babysitter with the Wal-Mart Baby selections. 

A proud Mama honoring her own as “Wal-Mart Baby.”  Should I be proud that Emma won “White Trash Kiddo??” 

 Ellie, a little unsure of all the women with bad hair and men in short shorts.

The sign behind the White Trash Men reads, “Congrajulatshuns Aunt Maybelle on erley parole.” 

 

 Yep, I know what you’re thinkin’.

 Jorge taking what I said to heart when I spoke the words, “The more skin you show, the better your chances of winning a prize.”

 Jorge burning his UT shirt and losing a few votes.

 Ahhhh, the ladies.

 Yep, most of these lookers are married to the men.

 Shirt reads, “Rockband Groupie.”

This was my pose most of the evening and I have apparently acquired my new motorcycle name. . .Juicy.  Thank you Nancy. 

 Where us women keep our pens when we don’t have pockets.

Apparently I failed to mention the amount of boobies in these pictures.  But on the same note, the cleavage at this party was amazing! 

Wade and all his glory accepting the award for White Trash Man. 

After a run-off between Erin and me, even with a wardrobe malfunction, Erin took the top honors as White Trash Women. 

 Emma, Erin, Wade and Ellie. . .what a beautiful White Trash Family. 

The King and Queen’s dance. 

More of Wade and the glory that was talked about before.

A little down time before the movie starts. 

Lee is putting his feet on the “baby belly” Denise was carrying early in the evening. 

The girls probably had 15 tattoos a piece.  We’re still scrubbing some of them off four days later. 

There’s that Audio/Video Department again.  Where’s Doug? 

I think the total ended up at 37 adults and kids.  Who knew are backyard could accomodate that many people. . .and our bathrooms. 

Cousin Chuck and Cousin Diana. 

Doug/Nancy/Uncle Dougly and a rather intoxicated Jorge/George/Jeremy and later deemed the name Goose. 

“You fellers want some watermelon?” 

A lovely shot of me and Erin and our new friends Boone’s Farm and vodka soaked watermelon. 

Wendy, me and Queen Erin. 

The babysitter. 

Yah, I’m a little speechless too. 

Mike and Erin. . .how sweet! 

I think this was right after I failed the sobriety test Dustin was giving me.  Still a rather nice picture of us!

The “always have to take a picture holding the camera as far away as you can with one hand” picture. 

I took my curlers out and this is what was happening.  I so could have been Queen. 

Emma enjoying the life of a party animal.  Cheetos anyone?? 

Josh:  “I don’t remember your name, but would you marry me?”

Wendy:  “You’re funny. . .and drunk.” 

The morning after:  a diaper, one flip flop with duct tape, and a tattoo that I don’t remember getting. . .man what a party! 

Check out the curlers. . .like Mama, like daughter.

newest member to Casa de Tow. . .

Many of our friends and family think Hell has indeed frozen over because I decided to let the girls have a dog.  It is a little hot lately, but then again it is July.  Meet Buster Sly Stallone Wyatt Tow.  We call him Buster for short or as Ellie says, “Butter.”  Butter is an improvement because at first it was “HERE PUPPY!!” said in an awfully deep voice for a baby.  Then Ellie kept pronouncing Buster as “Booger.”  Needless to say, we’re happy with Butter.

This two-pound eating, sleeping, pooping machine that ironically enough I did not give birth to because that’s what most babies are classified as is the new love of Emma’s life.  He was eight-weeks-old when we got him, but the girls have been seeing and holding him since he was a week and a half old.  Ellie has done a 180 and will actually not scream and run to the nearest adult for safety when a dog comes up to her.  My friend Amber can’t believe that Ellie actually pets their dog Scooter. . .or as Ellie calls him “Cooter.”  Emma has taken on the responsibility of not allowing Buster to know he can walk.  He gets in a little and I mean a little exercise each day usually running from my child screaming “HERE BUTTER!”  This is his running to find Emma or hide underneath my bed.

The first couple of days were a little foreign for me because I have this hairy little thing walking underneath my feet all day long.  Minus the hair and add some more weight and it’s like I have another child.  I think I ran the idea of a doggy diaper past Dustin, but I’m pretty sure he said no.  In the end, Ellie has yet to bring me puppy poopy or ate dog food.  She has tried to fit in his puppy carrier, “helped” carry his water bowl across the kitchen floor (you’d be amazed how far water splashes when dropped a couple feet off the ground) and put a chokehold on Buster countless times.  Emma has learned not to put Buster down to open a door so he can go outside and go potty, puppy poopy sticks to your hand when you pick him up and he’s not done poopin’ and a dog really is a girl’s best friend. . .wait, isn’t that diamonds?  Maybe this will be cheaper than diamonds?!?

 

 Just got back from across the street to pick up Buster from Pat and Toni’s house.  Welcome Home Buster!!

Ellie is actually touching an animal.  She still isn’t sure about most humans, but puppies are now on her “things I don’t hate” list. 

 We stayed home from church the next day and had a picnic and went swimming with Buster.  Okay, the girls really had the picnic and went swimming and Buster more or less slept under the swingset.

 A particularly adorable picture of Ellie.

Ellie and Butter. 

 Daddy and Buster. . .finally another male in the house.

Another moment of Buster not walking. 

I call this the Michael Jackson hold.  Ohh how Buster tolerates the girls.  Do you see that look in his eye like, “Where the h&#% am I and is there something wrong with my legs?  I haven’t felt them in two days!!”

Could you really say no to this face?  I didn’t think so. 

Emma is so happy to have Buster.  She asked me to take a picture of her holding him so she could put on her door and this is how she posed.  How cute!

Acasha’s Baby Shower. . .

There was a group of us in high school that grew up together.  Tammy, Mandy and I hosted Acasha’s first baby shower and now eight years later Tammy and I are throwing a gift card shower (her third baby) for Acasha.  We went out to dinner and had a great time.  All of our moms came and got to talk and pass around pictures of the grandkids and we all caught up on each other’s lives.  Even if we go months without talking, as soon as we get in a room it’s like we’re back in high school.  Only our stories are more about our kiddos rather than boyfriends, but we just pick up where we left off!

Acasha came over last Thursday and brought Annabelle (Emma’s twin) so her and Emma could play.  Like their Mamas, the girls picked up where they left off the last time they played together.  Ellie just followed them around like a little puppy trying to keep up with the big girls.  She played so hard that she needed a three hour nap to get her energy back.  Playing dress up is really hard for a 19-month-old!  We’re already making plans to go visit Annabelle because Emma misses her. 

Tammy, Acasha and me. . .eight years later. . .six (almost seven) kids later. . .and at least 10 tattoos later. . .our moms are so proud

Class of 2000

Me, Acasha, Kela, Tammy and Rikki

Sending evites: $0

3 bowls of queso: $15

24 Cakes N’ More cookies (not ready on time): $24

Everyone ordering a drink at a baby shower: priceless. . .actually it really isn’t priceless since my drink alone was $8.00. 

Two of the three hot mamas

Emma and Annabelle watching a movie in Emma’s “livingroom”

Already practicing that best friend pose when you put your heads together and give a big smile.

the giraffe hunter. . .

I know in the back of Dustin’s mind he could picture all these animals being mounted on the wall and joining “Daddy’s Happy Kitty Cat” in our living room.  Stupid endangered list.  Dustin never gets to have any fun. . .

It started out as the Fort Worth Zoo and then something hit me.  Walking in 100+ degree weather while pushing two kids in a stroller surrounded by children out for summer break or drive in your car with your family and air conditioning.  It was such a toss up, but Fossil Rim won.  This was a quazi-safari with different types of animals coming up to your car to bum what looks like small pieces of wood aka food off of you.  Emma loved it last year when we came with Jess, Aaron and the boys.  But when the ostrich stuck its head inside the passenger seat a looked at the 6-month-old baby aka food presented before him, well let’s just say you could hear Ellie screaming throughout the safari.

“It is a Christmas miracle. . .” that’s Emma’s saying, but it is really a miracle that all three subjects of the picture are smiling.  Granted only 2/3 are looking at the camera, but I’m not going to be picky.

What a cute one of Ellie driving. . .Daddy nuts.

Emma performing what we called her “call of the wild.”  “HERE ANIMALS, ANIMALS.  TIME TO GET YOUR FOOD!!”

Ellie and Mama

Ahh, the ostrich has returned for another battle with the now 18-month-old baby aka food.  I know this is where you bird people are saying, that’s not an ostrich, it’s an emu.  Emu, ostrich same thing.

“Are you lookin’ at me?!?” said with an Italian accent.

Random horns rubbing up against the truck.  Did I forget to tell Dustin about the animals rubbing their horns possibly scratching the paint on the truck??  Surely I told him.

Emma feeding some random white sheep-like creature.  According to Emma, everything was a goat and Ellie called everything “anmul.”

Daddy feeding the animals by hand which was a very big no no.

“What are yous lookin’ at??” said with a Jersey accent.

Ellie noticing the horns and Daddy sticking Ellie’s hand aka food back in the truck.  I’m noticing that Ellie’s appendages were very popular among the safari wildlife.

“Here anmuls.  Here anmuls.”

Getting a little hungry for lunch and halfway through the safari.

If you can’t dodge it, ram it.  I don’t know how many times I said this to myself every time I saw these big horns.

The animals were sticking their heads in the truck.  This was a very persistant “reindeer” as Emma called him.

“No, no, my other side is better.”

“Where’s my food, b*%(#.”  The language on these reindeer. . .and the looks they gave us. . .

Notice the sign posted many, many times throughout the park.  ZEBRAS WILL BITE, DO NOT FEED BY HAND

Said Zebra posing for a shot with me leaning over Dustin with my body partially out his side of the window.

Dustin apparently cannot read the signs that are posted many, many times throughout the park.

Melman the giraffe.

The sign didn’t say anything about giraffes biting, so I thought it was okay for me to feed them!

Okay, hid the food, the giraffes sniffing around for it.

1st Annual Camp Out. . .

So the first annual, which saying that totally drives me nuts because you can’t call anything a first and an annual because annual means happening yearly.  You’re either having your first something or your second annual something, not first with annual.  Thank you Dr. Browning for that particular lecture because that is one of the only things I remember from college.

Anywho, Dustin and Emma had the FIRST camp out in the backyard to kick off our Father’s Day Weekend.  They’re hoping that it becomes an ANNUAL event that eventually takes place in the mountains while Mama stays at home and celebrates Father’s Day with a toilet, a daily warm shower and any other luxuries that indoor plumbing provides.

The pictures tell the story better than my words, but don’t worry, I’ll still write captions for all of them!!

Father’s Day Camp Out 2008

Daddy enjoying beer and oreos and Emma enjoying her “Boston Lager” (cream soda) and oreos.

Oreos + Cream Soda + No Bedtime = Tired Daddy, not so much Tired Emma

The headless camper

The back view of the headless camper.  My back hurts when I see that picture.  Amazing how much energy a 4-year-old has when she 12 oreos and half a bottle of cream soda at 10:00 p.m.

What a ham!

Daddy and Emma came in to take a shower and get the bug spray off before calling it a night.  Emma needed some hot choc-o-lot (like on Polar Express) to keep her warm.  How she didn’t puke in the middle of the night is a wonder to me.  But that would’ve been Daddy’s problem.  My kid was asleep in her crib for almost two hours now.

Yah, he’s a hard core camper.  Dustin checked his email while Emma finished her hot choc-o-lot.

Dustin fell asleep before Emma.  She wanted him to tell her a bedtime story and at one point Emma said, “Daddy, that doesn’t make any sense?”  Dustin had fallen asleep and was mumbling random words to keep the story going, but Emma on a sugar high wasn’t going to let him not finish the story.

My sweet little angels.  Dustin was a little annoyed with the trains honking their horns all night long.  Lil’ Camper Emma didn’t hear a thing.  When you’re an experienced camper like the Tows, you learn to block out anything that interferes with the sounds of nature, like train horns, cars driving down the street, your wife/Mama taking pictures at 1:00 a.m., etc.