It’s that time of year again to display the fun had at our annual White Trash Party. This year’s menu was a shrimp boil. . .or as we called it a “shrimp bowl.” This year also was a no kids allowed party. There was a disclaimer at the bottom of the mustard stained invitation that read:
“Do to the graphic nature of jorge’s striptease/shirt burning and purty much seein’ a lil’ too much of wade last year, no kiddos this year!”
After a few weeks of planning and everyone trying to improve their outfit from last year, everyone had a great time. I’m so mad I didn’t take a picture of the front yard because we had the girls’ bikes and a lawn mower sitting out there and our ritual “WELCOME COUSINS” sign we put out. We had to use the “Congrajuwlashuns Aunt Maybelle” sign from last year because we couldn’t find the original welcome cousins sign and by the time I finished spray painting it, my cousin Diana said it looked like a child’s sign that said “FREE PUPPIES.” Mission accomplished.
We are in the process of putting up a new fence, so the trash can. . .aka dumpster. . .was easily accessible. And the 5′ X 8′ confederate flag hanging over the bathtub full of alcohol gave our backyard such a nice touch. Sadly, two weeks later, the bathtub is still in our backyard. Thanks again to everyone who helped out and Dustin and a bunch of his buddies at work are already planning for next year’s party!
Ellie and Emma went to Nana and Papa’s house for the night. This was Ellie’s very first night away from home. They were leaving our house and heading to Sam’s for some groceries and as Emma calls it “examples” instead of “samples.”
Emma was the one that cried due to some anxiety separation issues we were dealing with over the summer, but cheered up when Papa told her they could make calamari hotdogs like Daddy was making for the party.
Jorge’, Trevor and Chuck. Jorge’ borrowed an extra mullet we had on the fence for decoration.
Jack and Traci. All of us agreed that Traci wasn’t dressed up enough, and then I made the comment, “That’s something I would wear to church.” Which lead to exactly how much cleavage did I show on Sundays?!?
Courtney and Dustin
Dustin, Dustin’s hair and me.
Our neighbors Kim and Trevor, notice Trevor’s socks. . .oh wait, he isn’t wearing any socks.
Jorge’ the Shrimp Man
Dustin and eating the “God Almighty These Hot Wings Are Hot” hot wings. He hadn’t even started drinking and was already making a mess. About Dustin’s outfit, notice the Chippendale stripper cuffs. Very classy.
A better look at Trevor’s tan.
Denise and Lee
I know that’s a lot to take in.
Everyone died laughing when Lee attempted to bend over and get a beer out of the bathtub. Everything is already pulled pretty tight and bending over just added to the sight.
Some of the White Trash Bash 2009 participants
You can’t have a bathtub full of beer and not have a confederate flag. . .
Diana, who usually makes the confederate flag cheesecake bites, chose to make “Winkies.” Imagine if you will a Twinkie with two donut holes on the end and then smoothered in pink/flesh colored icing with stratigically placed chocolate sprinkles. Now that’s creativity at its finest!
We weren’t sure which guy would actually eat one of the Winkies, but at last Jack put his pride aside and devoured the Winkie. But when you’re wearing a Youth Small shirt when you’re Jack, how much pride do you have?!?
And of course not to let Jack feel bad, my husband ate a Winkie. There’s Dustin really loving the Winkie. . .okay, I’ll stop. I think I’m about to be sick!
I think this is going to be our invitation next year. Here’s “Spandex Cindy” enjoying the evening. The Miley Cyrus collection at Wal-Mart sadly provided many outfits for the women this year.
We used name cards for the voting process because we had a few new people this year. Traci didn’t have any pockets, so she found a spot for her name card.
Chuck didn’t have any pockets either. . .or at least that’s what he said.
The mullet collected the votes.
Jorge’s shirt is part of the Granimal line at Wal-Mart. For those of you who don’t know what size Granimals are, you can look at some of my girls’ play clothes. Jorge’ here is sporting a 6T shirt. . .that’s a size 6 TODDLER.
Earl Jr. and Peggy Lynn dun got married agin. . .third times a charm!!! Congrajulashuns guys!!
Lee had an extra “LEE”suire suit and sadly, it didn’t take much convincing Josh to put it on. In the background, Smokey and the Bandit is playing on the side of the shop.
The White Trash Women.
Dustin was behind the camera saying, “You’re an animal, give me more animal.” I’m not sure what animal I am though? So much for modeling as a future career.
The White Trash Men.
White Trash Queen Cindy. The pleather pants I think made her the winner.
No surprise here that Lee and his suit won White Trash King.
I have seen pictures of Lee back in high school and every picture looks like this. Okay, maybe not the brown onepiece that’s four sizes too small, but the face that says, “Hey, you want some of this?” Lucky, lucky Denise. Hands off ladies, he all Denise’s!
I asked each winner what their first act as King and Queen would be. Cindy, if you know her, is one of the quietest, nicest people I have ever met. So, Cindy wasn’t quite sure what she was going to do as reigning White Trash Queen. King Lee on the other hand said, “I’m going to go take this d*#@ thing off to get it out of my a@%.”
Jorge (sober), Doug (not so sober) and Chuck (so not sober)
“Hey Louie!” and Doug. Every time you saw Louie, something about his outfit just made you say (pronounced HEY LOU A).
We had items left in the past. A lawn chair here, a beer there, a curler on the other side of the yard, but not this. . .
Lee left his outfit with a lovely note for me in the bathroom.
Courtney’s tramp stamp that rubbed off on the chair. I think she needs to go get her money back!
Ahhh, the much anticipated vodka soaked watermelon.
This is right before Josh had to leave. He and Jack had to be at work at 5:oo a.m. the next morning.
Josh still having a good time and another one of Chuck so not sober.
Apparently it’s going to be awhile before Josh leaves and then here’s a good picture of Dustin.
Ohhh wait, Dustin realizes that he mistaked Josh for me. . .thanks!
So classy. I would have flashed everyone if I didn’t put shorts on underneath my skirt/beer opener.
Josh and his boobs.
Hey Louie! Wanna touch my boob?
“What do you mean you don’t want to touch it?!?”
The much anticipated Dustin impersonating Billy Bob Thorton in Sling Blade. The Chippendale stripper cuffs are still cracking me up!
This is Dustin explaining to Maggie that you take a 32 oz glass of water and “two” tylenol before you go to bed tonight so you don’t have a hangover the next morning. Something tells me Maggie isn’t going to remember what he said.
Dustin’s lovely tattoo I put on him. Again, I don’t think tattoo artist is going to be in my future either. . .
This was my tequila buddy Maggie. And I was the annoying picture taking person that kept flashing everyone. . .wait, that didn’t come out right.
Courtney and her Napoleon Dynamite hair after she took out the curlers.
I let my curlers down and it didn’t have the same effect as it did last year.
This was last year’s picture. . .hey, I’ve lost weight since last year, but I still have a boob tattoo. . .again, so classy.
Chuck, Chuck’s half eaten Winkie and Diana
Celebrating with the Queen.
Weren’t you supposed to leave like an hour ago??? This was Josh’s fourth attempt at leaving, still unsuccessful.
Dustin and our friend Denise.
This is going to be our Christmas Card next year. Me, Jorge and our love child Maggie.
The aftermath of another successful party. Alcohol and Winkies. At this point, I’d had way too much to drink and kept calling them “Tweiners.” Even sober now, that’s still pretty funny!